Category Archives: Love

No crushing defeats

There are only thirteen days left to preorder «February», my next book. I had done everything to find supporters for this crazy project. After many sleepless nights, I am muffled in peaceful musings. I trust in this book no matter if people back me or not. I know I am on the right track and …

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Musings

Lately, I have been spending too much time reading and writing or trying to write at the very least. Lately, I have been living in a hazy atmosphere crammed with thoughts and silent thoughts. When I read, I sometimes say a word out loud and the resonance of my own voice dazes me; it seems …

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A Room of My Own

For first time in years I am enjoying Christmas. It is neither painful nor lonesome nor a disquieting time, but a perfect blend of magic, warmth and peace. One of the best gifts of this year has been my ministudio. I moved here on November 15, when my former life was over and a new one …

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Serenity

I have finally started to feel this place as my own. My old house keeps popping up in my dreams; sometimes the bad dreams plunge me in panic, and fear and frost often wake me up in the nighttime. A couple of friends brought me from my storage a blender, a beautiful crèche and a winter quilt. Temperatures have dropped and …

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Family

I am still sad and some days I am not strong enough to leave my bed. It is too complicated to live in this tiny studio where every little movement requires thought and organization. Just making my bed or doing the dishes makes me stressful. So far the laundry is the worst chore. There is neither clothesline …

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Mourning

I am stricken with grief, stricken to the heart. I did not know it was possible to mourn for a house, for an old and wobbly house. It was my home, where memories, bad and good, lingered on, where numberless things— useful or impractical but always beautiful— lived in cozy and unexpected nooks. It was where …

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Sprightly new life

Lilacs are all in bloom and its scent fills my house. It has been a glorious, but tedious day. It might be loneliness, it might be helplessness, it might be pain. Holy Week has intensified my suffering and my bunch of frustrations hurt more. I remember when I was lost in the shine of eternity, when everything gave me joy, when …

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Batty and happy

I have talked on the phone to my aunt for more than an hour. She is quite talkative and she spends too much time alone. I have not really got to know her until last summer. We took some walks together and had long conversations. She did the talking and I listened to her, to …

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Wizardry

Notwithstanding my deficient writing in a foreign language, I keep coming here. English words are music to me. Its sounds take me to a magical and smooth land where things are cozier and prettier. It is a nameless place full of new dreams, new hopes, new wishes, new thoughts and new fragrances, like the smell of white pepper on my old …

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Dreamy girl

Rain is back. Most people hate this weather, but me. I love sunny days in winter, but choose humid and cold days in summer.  It is nice not to postpone my daily walk until evening and to wear socks and sweaters instead of blisters and suffocations.As soon as I woke up, I opened the window …

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